Saturday, February 27, 2010

Crazy Love

No, I am not talking about an Crazy/Sexy/Cool, lol, I am talking about that out of your mind, heart crushing love/lust/lunacy, that causes one to forget all ideas of right and wrong and just let go to the hormones of the unreasonable burning love, that makes women rush to theatres to see films like "The Notebook","Dear John", anything "Twilight" or it seems "anything" Robert Pattinson. Now do you know what I am talking about? What is it about burning love that makes your heart turn a quick step when you least except it and makes your stomach flutter at the sight of him. Damn, the movie industry for bringing out these movies, like "Remember Me", triggered to make you remember that crazy kind of love that makes you do everything you never meant to do and nothing that you were supposed to do. Wars were fought over this kind of love and famous plays were written. Am I the only one who every time she watches "Romeo and Juliet", hopes that Romeo doesn't drink the poison and instead runs away with Juliet to live happily ever after? Or go old school and watch the VHS of "Titanic", but only the first tape, where everything was happy and the ship never ever hit that iceberg? When I was little my mother was a stay at home mom, but you would never catch her watching soap operas all day, in fact, I was not allowed to watch soaps, my mother said they, "Fostered a false sense of reality and would give me a warped idea of love", maybe she should have watched the chick flicks instead. Any mother who played "Love Story" on the a record player under her daughter's crib each night should have know they were creating an ideal candidate for that crazy kind of love. Not to mention every Merchant & Ivory movie and multiple screening of "Gone With The Wind", I was doomed. So, am I destined to forever only see as crazy love as the real kind of love, or do you think , I may one day realize, the real love the best love, does not have to be the love I always thought, but something better, more dependable, steady and constant, who knows.

Friday, February 26, 2010

I Remembered

I remembered two boys, each just starting out in life, each deciding to end their lives. Maybe, nobody remembers I was the only one who knew you both, but I was not the only one to mourn your loss and I was not the the only one whose heart you broke, but I may have been the only one who knew you both.


Wait just a second, I thought being a grown up was supposed to be exciting??? So, what happened to your life??? Do you find yourself after 30 still single, still in the same apartment you got right after college??? Do you wonder where all the time has already gone??? Is the "Friend's" theme song creeping in your mind more often than before and that is not necessarily a good thing??? Is the guy at the drive thru beginning to call you ma'am more than miss and is that a gray you spotted in your hair??? Worse, has your most meaningful relationship, friend or lover been with your dog??? Congratulations, you are a 32 year old single woman, isn't adulthood wonderful! Really, it is not that bad, there were some good times in your twenties randomly within the goofheads and gageheads you dated and you have gotten really good at fixing your own garbage disposal setting your own mousetraps, but wasn't there something more you were supposed to be doing while you waited for life to pass you by, where did your dreams go and is it too late to get them back? Who knows, I guess one day you will need to just get off your ass and try, try to change, try to be different, try to start living your life instead of watching it pass you by.